I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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