oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
