xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
