Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
