He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
