she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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