So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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