So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
