Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
