I need help removing her.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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