It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
