You smell like stripper and shame
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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