dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize