those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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