Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
