And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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