We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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