I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
