i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
