now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
