I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I need moral support for this bender
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My feet surprised me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
