my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
