Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
