Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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