You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
