I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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