I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize