that's an acceptable place to lick
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
