two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
