Apparently you make a good broom.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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