He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Randomize
