oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You can't special order awesome
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
