I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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