So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
