is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
