hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
