no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
