Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
