Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
