I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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