I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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