New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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