i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
