As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
