also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
