The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize