Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
