Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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