just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize