Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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