His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
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