she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
