did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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