So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize