Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm like, not good at living.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
