I smell stomach acid.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
