Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
