If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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