btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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