That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
