maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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