She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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