So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
