i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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