Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
