You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm both gender and math confused
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
